Dreaming about the end of the World
So, last night I watched M. Knight Shyamalan's "Signs" with a friend. It was the second time I'd seen it, and it was not the experience I was anticipating. The first time around, I didn't find it all that scary, this time, it was mildly so. I remember liking the ending, but this time being rather nonplussed. Finally, the first time around, I was left with no after-effects, not even an opinion. This morning right before I woke up, I was having a dream about the end of the world. Now, don't feel sorry for me, it wasn't really a nightmare (in the light of my Christianity, the end of all things and the return of Christ generate at least grim trust if not outright delight when looking forward), but it was was extremely vivid, yet left unresolved, and altogether off=putting. What made it off-putting? Visions of Satan and a foul end for me and my loved ones? No... Spooky signs and paranormal events? Nope, save for my car (in the dream) having supernatural powers.
You see, it wasn't the end of all things, or the sense of impending doom that made the dream disconcerting...it was the sense of not being prepared. I'm not even talking about spiritual prepared-ness here (i.e. Am I ready to face this end?). It was a strange sense of 'Donnie Darko-esque' black frivolity combined with the mild annoyance of having forgotten something at home upon arriving at a campsite. I was struggling to do something, to get something done before the looming darkness that seemed to fill the horizon reached me. However, for all the super-powers my car seemed to possess, it was helpless. I seemed to possess weapons on my person, and I wasn't afraid to the point of freezing up, but I somehow knew that I was no match for what was coming, and there was that hated feeling of helplessness. Whatever that task was, whatever I was preparing to do, (regardless if I failed at doing it) I was on my way to it, to meet it. I wished so badly to re-enter the story that I actually hit the snooze button on my alarm, something that I never do. But alas...in the half-consciousness of those few 10 minutes, I just swam around in the images and thoughts of the dream, awake enough to be frustrated by the lack of resolution, but not asleep to do anything about it. I would have liked to have gotten my car unstuck...
You see, it wasn't the end of all things, or the sense of impending doom that made the dream disconcerting...it was the sense of not being prepared. I'm not even talking about spiritual prepared-ness here (i.e. Am I ready to face this end?). It was a strange sense of 'Donnie Darko-esque' black frivolity combined with the mild annoyance of having forgotten something at home upon arriving at a campsite. I was struggling to do something, to get something done before the looming darkness that seemed to fill the horizon reached me. However, for all the super-powers my car seemed to possess, it was helpless. I seemed to possess weapons on my person, and I wasn't afraid to the point of freezing up, but I somehow knew that I was no match for what was coming, and there was that hated feeling of helplessness. Whatever that task was, whatever I was preparing to do, (regardless if I failed at doing it) I was on my way to it, to meet it. I wished so badly to re-enter the story that I actually hit the snooze button on my alarm, something that I never do. But alas...in the half-consciousness of those few 10 minutes, I just swam around in the images and thoughts of the dream, awake enough to be frustrated by the lack of resolution, but not asleep to do anything about it. I would have liked to have gotten my car unstuck...
posted by Troy at 5:04 AM
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