Holy Crap...I'm So Blessed!

OK, so I was in my Calvin class for three hours this evening with Dr. Gwenfair Adams. She is phenomenal, and the subject matter is great. After class, a couple of other teacher's pets and I (we have official titles at this level, we're called a "T.A.")
accompanied her back down to her office, helping her carry several piles of books and the like. In her office, there are books lining the walls, and too many other cool things to recount here. However, she had two of the coolest things I've ever seen: A vellum (animal skin) from the 15th Century with a Psalm written on it with muscial notation, AND a book of "Decredals" from the Council of Trent (The Council of Trent was the Catholic response to the Reformation) The Psalm on the vellum was from 1400 and somthing, and the book of Decredals was from 1580-1592 roughtly! AND I GOT TO TOUCH THEM! I got to smell them, poke them, turn them over and over, heck, I could have tasted them! (I was sniffing them, and the temptation was there...) What the HECK?! That is so cool! She just has these IN HER OFFICE! LAYING AROUND! AND SHE LETS US GRUB AROUND WITH THEM AND HANDLE THEM! 400+ year old artifacts of Christianity available for my perusal! WOW! After that I went upstairs, and found people worshipping in the Chapel. Thereupon I realized how rare and blessed this whole situation really is. I mean, this level of scholarship, so closely and consciously dedicated to God, for His glory, purposely tied to the church, its worship, devotion, and ministry? Simply amazing...Not that other institutions aren't in the final calculus aimed at building the Kingdom and serving God, it just seems to me that they are often 'many times removed' from that central point. Here, most of our professors are also ministers or minister-ing in some capacity. Their highest flown theology is never distant from the pulpit, the soup kitchen, and the pastor visiting in your living room. Anyhoo, enough rambling, just wanted to share the coolness of seminary with y'all.

"It Really is all about Mercy"...OR... 'leave it to a Catholic to tell a Protestant about Grace!'

So here I am during Lent, fasting from Sweets. Sweets being pretty loosely defined as...pretty much anything with simple carbohydrates: desserts, sugar in my tea, EVERYTHING at Starbucks, and the list goes on and on. Giving something up for Lent really is not a big deal, lots of people do it. I am not that terribly special. However, several key things have taken place nonetheless. First, my appreciation for other tastes and flavors has increased a great deal. Beers, wines, and coffee have whole new levels of nuance and 'sweetness' now that I am not regularly dosing myself with refined sugars. I think I may also be losing a little weight...I don't actually know as I avoid scales like the Plague. These are all very fleshly benefits from Lent, and while certainly not bad in themselves, seem at times to be a bit wide of the mark in regards to what Lent ought to really be about. I've been struggling a great deal frankly. I've been diving headfirst into what it means to be Anglican, and that includes the Church Calendar, and specifically right now, Lent, and what is supposed to take place therein:
-I've had some notions of 'replacement' go through my mind, i.e. that luxury item or indulgence (which is NOT bad in itself, when properly enjoyed, thank you!) that I am abstaning from for Lent is a sort of support or fulfillment that can be assumed by God upon its removal. This runs afoul of a number of problems, not least of which is "what happens whent Lent is over, Easter (Resurrection Day) comes, and we celebrate and FEAST?" (Apparently my church has a gigantic party after Resurrection Sunday and everything a person could have possibly given up for Lent is present. It's supposedly a smashing good time.) Nonetheless, does God get the boot out of some section of my being when I start to eat sweets again? You can see the problems with this model...
-My other idea for Lent was a matter of mere self-discipline. This connects with my aspirations for a diet, and a little weight-loss, and while expedient, and God-honoring inasmuch as moderation and self-discipline are God-pleasing, this to seems shy of the mark too. In pursuit of the 'self-discipline as central goal' model, I intended to go for the entire Lenten season without sweets, even giving up my opportunity every Sunday to indulge, as is allowed. This smacks dangerously close up against the self-reliant works-righteousness quagmire, as well as the pop-psychological/self-improvement ass-clownery that pervades too many shelves at Barnes and Noble these days.
-Two very good Reformed friends of mine, (they were mentioned in the blog prior to this one) ran the idea by me, that it was really a matter of centering oneself on Christ, and directing ones life towards Him by sharing in the self-denial and emptying God the Son, that is, Jesus, faced by becoming Incarnate. We are certainly not earning anything, nor are we trying just have a mere exercise in personal discipline, nor are we trying to narcissistically place ourselves at the center of Lent, and 'replacing' various things in our life with God, as if He wasn't already present, and kindly holding our flimsy reality together (including its sugary indulgences.)This certainly was a partial answer, and not without its applicability and explanatory power.
-While going over the "what the heck am I supposed to DO with Lent?" issue with a Catholic brother at work the other day, I expressed to him my desire to go for all of Lent without sweets, disregarding the release of every Sunday to go and enjoy. He said to me that I really should enjoy that which I'm fasting from that Sunday, because, as he said "it really is all about Mercy." Every Sunday we celebrate "the Lord's Death till He comes" which means it’s a day chocked full of anticipation and hope to begin with, regardless of the season. Every Sunday, in the Eucharist, we receive spiritual nourishment, and union with Christ and each other, and we prefigure the coming feast of the Lamb at the end of history, when there will be plenty for all, no more death, nor more pain, no more tears, peace, harmony, wholeness, and unimaginable blessing in general. Oh yes, sin will be impossible too...I think we will like each other more then. The Eucharistic and Worship activities of the average Sunday model and image God's grace and mercy by showing (1.) God even desires our company on that day, and then (2.) mercifullymakes a way for us to share that day with Him through Jesus Christ. It really is all about Mercy...YHWH could require much more of us, rather, He sees our inability and weakness, and carries us along as we are. It really is all about Mercy, because God relents, He removes all His wrath and righteous requirements onto Christ, so that we would not have to bear them. (Something we would not be able to do anyway!) In a very real way, by rejecting the freedom to break my fast on Sundays, I was spurning the Grace of Christ, and being very self-reliant. I preferred to demonstrate my own strength of will, and ‘stick-to-it-ive-ness’ rather than ‘lay back and rest in the Grace of God’ as Calvin would put it. None of which God is particularly thrilled with. After work that night, we cleaned up and went home. After work Sunday, I ate cake. (Only after dinner of course...) Praise be to God, merciful Lord that He is…I can eat cake? Yes I know, not quite the phenomenal rhetorical crescendo I was hoping for either…but alas, no one needs more ‘wise speech’ (1 Corinthian 1-3) from me, a ‘philosopher of this age.’ It seems more often than not that His truth sneaks into our hearts like a mouse under the door. I can only hope to speak quietly as to not drive it away… Aside from all the historical and liturgical theology that goes into all the preceding discussion, it was an incredibly tangible encounter with the reality of God's grace. (mmm, nothing like good incarnated theology!) So in terms of what I was trying to 'get out of Lent' this year, (So consumeristic!) I think I've found something. How I will grow next year, I don't know. For now however, I think I've found out what Lent really is all about Mercy, and how we don't have an adequate realization and thankfulness for it. So it takes an incarnate nudge from the Living God with a little Eucharistic cake to wake me up.